I saw it, I heard it, I felt it
Ruach Scripts
January 9, 2025
It happened in front of me, I saw it, I heard it, I felt it, that together with an unexplainable feeling carved into my mind and senses. I was a child who were just starting to explore the world, part of it was somethings that are unexpected but destined for me to be exposed to it. I took it as one of my lessons that I was learning such as riding a bicycle.
I grew and it grew, what is it, I am not exactly sure either. Growing with it made me feel older, as I if I’m an adult who were supposed to be aware of those. Kids craving for snacks, games, entertainment but I, was craving for attention. The thing growing inside me made me feel responsible to things that I am not responsible for, and crave attention that I was not supposed to be craving for. I was an ‘acting adult’ teenager. I was afraid of things going wrong, and yet made stupid choices for the attention. I was carrying it like a cross and sacrificing myself little by little.
The young adult era finally came, finishing my high school, stepping into college life took a turn on myself. I was a completely different person, ignoring the morality of good or bad, I was all out. I explored the world as far as I knew together with that sense driving me. All I knew was to go for it. I did things that I was restricted to do. I adventured life as if there is no tomorrow.
Finishing college life, entering into relationship and working life. Haunting is what it is. The feeling and sense took over into fear of losing and the stress of putting power over all. But one day, I sat and thought about where it all started. Where these traits and unable to mingle with others came about. Everyone looked negative in my eye, hence I hated everyone. After months of thinking and going through the pain, it all pointed to ‘It happened in front of me, I saw it, I heard it, I felt it’.
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